Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Randomize
