i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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