Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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