Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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