time to smoke my breakfast
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
