jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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