i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
