Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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