her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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