Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
