I got chris browned last night
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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