Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
