I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
