Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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