what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
