Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
