are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
