I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
