I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
