She said her name was "party"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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