I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
