My friends, they love my intelligence
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
