Moan for me like Helen Keller
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize