they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
