I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
