What did we do last night that was yellow?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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