Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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