Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
be right there i have to get my cape
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize