He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
