whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize