If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
