butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
