i don't like sucking hair
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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