you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
