They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
