Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
