Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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