I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she smelled like a LAN party
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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