Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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