it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she peed on how many people?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
