Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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