Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
