i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
