just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
