WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need water and some morals
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
