I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
