dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
