I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
