At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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