I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
