I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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