He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
