hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
