He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
