so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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