I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's never too late to be topless.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
