I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
