We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize