Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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