Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize