Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
