If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
