I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
