Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
