Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Less talking, more tequila
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
