im having a threesome with these popsicles
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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