Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
