They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
