You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
